The Flaws of My Perfection
My American cousins
see my mixed pedigree
of birthplace and locations lived.
Oblivious to their myopia,
a country of immigrants over the water.
My reflection will never match theirs.
Me—blemished.
My stains of expatriation
scar me as foreign to them.
Here is my life:
A fire of blazing hues and
they only notice smoke in their eyes.
My experiences of customs
Handed down
Interactions of a millennium.
They flinch at the alien-ness
of ancient sites.
They wrinkle noses
at imagined whiffs of moldy dust.
My life abroad
borders on a map.
A fine crackled glaze
of Thai celadon.
For them my absences
are fractures in porcelain;
to me they are filled and mended in molten gold.
A valued dish
mended by kintsugi.
My existence isn’t grounded
like theirs—safe, homogenized, and bland.
Mine is of three dimensions to their two.
Life is a tightly budded flower,
thorny and gnarled on a bush,
wind battered and opened to bloom.
Not their store bought plastic flower.
I am not perfect;
so hard to understand.
But my life is complete
in its fractured, flawed, and faraway perfection.
Edited by Eisha Gupta.